One Sweet Lassi Please......

And so we entered...finally....

Well, at the IPL parties...Its not easy to get your name on the Guest list....and when you do get your name on one...its even more difficult to get entry into one...ASK PAVAN, AZHAR, RITIKA, RASHMI, CHETAN, and Pavan's good friend.. Dollypaji ( name changed...read the blog to know why it was important to change the name...)

NOTE:- All characters and names in this blog are not fictitious. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is intentional....I do not bear any responsibility for the same.

After watching RCB thrash KKR at the UB city amphitheater.... Pavan, Azhar and me decided to head to the ITC hotel for the after party...We felt we had the charisma and the required " influence" to walk ourselves in, even if we were not part of the guest list.... I mean...lets face it...I knew Deepika's good friend...Pavan knew Sahil and Dolly Singh... we had everything figured out....

This was the time I had to show off...come on..I knew the ITC Gen manager.... I Knew the restaurant manager...I knew Akshay who was working for the UB group...I had full contacts...One of them would help us get in....for Sure!!!! How wrong i was.....

My first message was to Karen...Karen was a good friend of a restaurant manager at the ITC...so i messaged her asking if she was awake at 12:30 in the morning...poor girl, worried that something had happened to me, quickly called me back...and i was like..." Karen, I want to go for the IPL party....can u ask your friend to help us get in....full sweet and all i was to her...ask her and she will tell u...i have never been that sweet to her....( If you ask her, she will probably say i have never been sweet to her, ever!!)....only to be told, that the restaurant manager ( her friend) had already left for the day.....

With Pavan and Azhar laughing so hard at the way i spoke to her....I was more determined to show how influential i was... So, I messaged the Gen Manager of the ITC group of hotels...A golfing buddy...and an extremely sweet friend...My message read like this...." Hi ****( Name cannot be disclosed for security reasons- my security).. small favour,...if its not too much trouble...is it possible to get 3 of us in for the IPL party tonight...pls don't go out of your way and all...."He surely went out of his way...so much out of his way.....that to this date...he hasn't bothered to reply only....

With both of them still laughing at me....we drive into the Hotel...only to be told that we better park the car ourselves....no celebrities in our car...so no Valet drivers to park... Curses and abuses hurled at the security for not parking our car, Pavan drives the car into the basement.....WAIT...Parking the car was not a bad idea at all..we witnessed something that was probably the most beautiful to our eyes ever....Pavan went mad..( remember Anushree wasn't around...so can you blame him??)we were all so excited to see her...She was this sexy, fantabulous, gorgeous and the best part- NAKED...she was this Brand new- Unregistered Polo parked there....and yes...the best part...It was from ELITE MOTORS.....:)

Not giving up yet.....we entered the hotel...I was extremely pleased to see that we weren't the only fools who were making an effort to get in without a guest pass....and Azhar was having a field day already...the chicks at the entry point were mind blowing.... and he suddenly became very conscious of his surrounding...those who know Azhar will realize that he becomes quite a " stud" when he is around women.... the walk...the jokes...they all flow flawlessly......

With Azhar cracking his wild ones, and Pavan exuding such confidence,that made me laugh my ass off..we walked our way through the crowd, hoping to spot someone that could help us in times of such desperate need....and then we ran into our good friend, Chetan..

Chetan, along with 9 others...( 9 Others...hahahahahaha) was trying his luck at the entry point...now he is an intelligent guy...while we tried taking help from Hotel employees( remember the ITC Gen. manager) ...he had this friend who knew Deepika Padukone really really well...What a smart move...Deepika's friend would definitely be able to help them get in...man i should have been the 11th person in that group....

As soon as he began his story about how he knew Deepika's friend....I realised that this girl ( name cannot be disclosed due to security reasons...and this time...her security, cause i expect Pavan to stalk her....he really wants to know the story behind Deepika- Ranbir break up....and i am really really worried about her well-being....) was a close friend of mine as well..... within seconds I was talking to her and asking her to help 10+3 " close friends" of mine to enter...and she was like, " ya, why not...anything for you Mayur"...awww..so sweet of her...friends like her...angelic...

It was done...Now, we surely had to get in...Deepika Padukone's friend ya...how can we not get in...plus she confirmed she will get us in...so now its a cake walk....I was over the moon...i told these guys i can get them in...see, what contacts i have...People reading this...IPL or EPL...whatever party...u know who to contact now...Don't you!!

While we waited for this " angel" to arrive at the hotel, Pavan was disturbed! Now common, he had to show he had more influence than me...this was a question of prestige here...so...he walked around, trying to find other ' Deepika friends' or anyone that could help him get in....Pavan approached Hotel employees, Security guards....didn't spare anyone...

Now, how pavan could identify this ' toilet door' is beyond my understanding...He found this door that connected the Ground floor toilet to the 1st floor toilet, and through this door we would get access to the party....Brilliant huh...Pavan rushed in...with Azhar and me right behind...then something unbelievable happened...

Pavan sneaked in....Azhar and me didn't...Why??????????? Because we saw Ritika's dad walking towards us just as we entered, and the ' Gentleman' that I am, I suggested that we first wish Ritika's dad...and then we enter...By the time we finished exchanging greetings, Pavan who was almost inside, wondering why we weren't right behind him, came out looking for us...By this time, the security guards at the hotel, understood that the real reason behind us sneaking into the toilets was not ' upset stomach' ( Generally, ITC hotels leave their guest with upset stomachs) ...and they sealed the door...Dam it!! We missed a good chance...

Paan was infuriated!! Pissed off like never before... He had found an access that no one could possibly have...and Azhar and me had ruined it for him...Ritika's dad was like.." Back door entry huh"...and Pavan was like "my friends are the biggest Idiots ever!!!!" ( His mum's statement on how important it is to choose your friends wisely flashed before his eyes....lol)

I wasn't too worried...Deepika's friend, who is( after the blog comes up, may become ' was') my good friend was still expected....she was going to get us in... reputed family we all come from Pavan..all this Back door entry and all...not nice...we will get in...don't you worry Pavan....

By this time, a close friend of Pavan's...Mr Dollypaji ran into Pavan...such sweet people existed i did not know..and honestly, I was envious of Pavan. I mean, here i was making calls to who's- who of Bangalore.... and here, Dollypaji....offers to help Pavan and his friends get in...without any hassle... and with such confidence, that people around him would only get embarrassed...

While we are waiting for Dollypaji and my friend ( ie; Deepika's good friend, who is also my good friend) to help us get in, we met Danish...( Pavan will fill u guys up...if u want to know more about this incident).

Dollypaji tried real hard...I have never met a person, who can go so much out of his way to help people...Man, I made wrong friends...this guy was running all around the hotel...why, cause he had to get Pavan and his friends in...He would keep coming to Pavan, and convince him that there was nothing to worry, and that he would be able to get us is...what I liked best, was how Dolly Singh kept coming to Pavan, and reassuring him, without Pavan actually expecting so much from him...Brilliant Guy!! God Bless him!!!!!

Two Hours Passed...and my friend( who was Deepika's good friend) had still not come...Azhar was waiting to pounce on me...and he did just that... like with Karen, or with the ITC Gen. Manager...this would also not work....both Azhar and Pavan were like, message her and ask her what happened....with great reluctance, I, the sweetheart I am, sent her a kweet message..." *******, Have you arrived at the hotel?? Is it possible?? So so so sorry to bother you like this...."....and she replied..." I came and left...Right now at a House Party...couldn't enter myself...."

How Azhar and Pavan laughed at me...MY GOD!!! Its been 20 days since,and the laughing has still not stopped....Our only hope...the last ray of hope...was all gone!! There was no way we could get in now....they continued laughing at me...They laughed...laughed and laughed more......until we saw deepika walking towards the ' Back door entry' that Pavan had discovered....Since the main entrance was packed with people, they started taking the celebs through the back door( Toilet) entry....Pavan was a proud man...Deepika was walking the 'path' that he had ' discovered'....no mean feat that!!! This was the time that he also hurled abuses at Azhar and me....Atleast, the laughing stopped......:)

Suddenly, Dollypaji appears...he was sounding all positive again...he was like, Pavan I have cleared your access Dost...you and your friends can now enter....Can you see that man there...just go tell him that you are from Dakshin Honda.....and entry is all yours.....I was floored...Pavan you have to thank him for being so helpful buddy.....promise him that you will never forget his help...and that you would be indebted for life....This guy is a real sweetheart I thought.....

Pavan thought for a moment...and said something that was comical to say the least...." Like I didn't know I was from Dakshin Honda...he didn't have to tell me that....Asshole!!!!"and he silently walked towards the coffee shop and ordered one huge glass of sweet Lassii...He really really had to cool down....really!!!

"One Assam Tea, one espresso and one sweet lassii pls...."..." Sir, The Sweet lassii would take 30 min..." Oh! Thats ok...just get it and come.....main aaj sweet lassi peekai jaayenge...."

Azhar...

Pavan...

Mayur.

PS: Put my name last...want to be the last to be killed, incase someone wants to, for writing such an awful blog.....:)

US- China Currency War

As if the world economy is already not fragile enough, politicians in the US and China seem intent on fighting an old fashioned currency war. Personally, I feel the US is more wrong than China here..... and if not stopped soon, the two countries may send the world back to an age of barter system....

This battle concerns China's desicion to 'peg' it's currency, the yuan, to a fixed rate. The Yuan is deeply undervalued, fueling china's exports and harming the US. If the Chinese would only let the yuan float, it would only soar in value and china's export advantage would fall.

I read an article where President Obama has picked up this theme, calling recently for Beijing to adopt a more market oriented exchange rate. The US congress has also made a demand that unless China let's the Yuan rise in Value, the US should impose tariffs on Chinese goods... Just what the world needs: A Trade war.

By maintaining a fixed Yuan- Dollar rate, the Chinese believe that they have actually served the world economy well... It has lead to an explosion of trade,they say, cheaper goods to the US, thereby raising the US living standards, and prosperity to tens of millions of Chinese.

For years, the US establishment has been pressing China to revalue the yuan in the name of reducing the US trade deficit. But isn't much of the trade deficit due to intra-company trade, with US companies outsourcing production to China and India to stay globally competitive. At least, that's how i am made to understand this....

China is right to resist the US call to revalue, because a large revaluation could damage China's growth. China should learn from the experience of Japan, which had bowed to similar US pressure and had revauled the Yen. This was probably one of the reasons for the domestic deflation in Japan.

This is not to say that China's current arrangement is ideal. By not adopting a market oriented exchange rate, it has blunted the yuan's development as a tradable currency. This is probably why China sits on 2.5 trillion in dollar reserves.China's build up in dollar reserves is contributing to the world's anger at China. This represents a huge misallocation of Global resources.

If a solution to this is not found soon, war on Terror may find a back seat in world affairs, and countries may soon start focussing on pegging there currency, just like China does......

When success fails you….

16^th of January 2009. My CA ( Chartered Accountancy) Final result was expected at 11 AM. I prayed hard, silently though. I remember that day quite distincly...the same thoughts kept recurring…If I keep telling myself that I will pass, then I will surely not. However, if I tell myself I'll Fail, then the chances of passing are more. Such ridiculously demented thoughts took most of my waking up hours on that bright sunny morning.

I checked every 30 minutes to see if the results reflected on the website. Nothing happened for many hours that morning. Finally, at 11 AM, the web page reloaded. The results were out. As I entered my roll number, my mother next to me on one side, and my brother on the other, all the hard work put in by me, for over a year flashed before my eyes. Was I going to pass?? Was I Not??

And then came the Shocker!!….’Group 1’-----FAIL, ‘Group 2’------FAIL. I was numb. My mother, not really knowing how to read the results on the website, kept asking me, if i had passed. I had not. I had actually cleared every single subject, but had not passed the aggregate.

This was it! I had dreaded this day, for the last two months--between the day I had completed the exam and the day of the result. The worst had happened! The worst had happened…..

Calls, one after the other started flooding in. I picked up a few, ignored the rest.I distinctly remember my father calling me, and he obviously had heard the NEWS by then. He said, “Don’t worry Mayur. It’s a small setback. “ I was almost in tears, and was completely overwhelmed!

Why I ask???and I have been asking this every single day since then…. Why was God so unfair to me?? When I had slogged my living soul off for this…why couldn’t I reap the benefits of it??

Insanity ( I title it that…cause it was nothing short of insanity) started exactly a year and a half before I wrote my exams… enrolled myself at a tuition centre a year in advance, to give myself sufficient reading time at home closer to the exams. The classes were nothing short of Herculean… 7 AM to 5 PM every weekend… and 6 AM to 9 AM on weekdays… for one whole year….I hated every minute of it.... but, I kept telling myself not to quit, to suffer now...so that i could live the rest of my life as a CA...

I remember taking it up as a challenge not to miss a single class… not because someone instigated me to it…. But because I was so determined to crack this exam… and I felt I should do ‘whatever it takes’…. Unfortunately, I did miss a single class cause of high fever… now looking back…this one class that I missed, probably, made all the difference…:(

My study Schedule was painful to say the least… starting with 4- 5 hours a day…it went up-to an insane 10-11 hours a day. Under no means am I trying to say that I was the only one who did this…I know of friends who have done as much…if not more…..

I have always grown up believing that ‘ the more you sweat, the more luckier you get’. I worked hard…I sacrificed a lot… I remember those days when my friends would meet up for coffees and movies and to do so much more...( I rather avoid blogging that…:)) And I had to skip all of it.- Skip all of it cause, I kept telling myself that the more I sweat…the more luckier I'll get…. DAMN that book of quotes…..

It was easy to stray… It was easy to give up… It was easy to tell myself that I don’t have to do this…but I didn’t…I just went ahead to study anyways… to push myself when in despair… believing that, that is all I had to do to succeed,…

How wrong I was…How stupid I was…to believe that Hard work is all it takes.,.. How lame was I to believe that if u worked hard…. Rest will fall into place….How pudden-head I was to underestimate ‘ success’…

Many a times I’ve wondered what went wrong…could it be that I worked hard, but not hard enough…or could it be that Luck just didn’t favour me… difficult to answer I thought…I have asked myself this question everyday since then...i have had no answers. I knew for a fact that i worked really hard for it... probably harder then some of my friends at that time did...

I distinctly remember a couple of times when I threw my hands up in the air, and felt that i should just give up all of it, cause it was not worth the sacrifice... But something kept me going...something told me that I had to do it...

Failure was really really hard for me to accept...I remember that it took me almost three months to get over the depression that surrounded me...My friends made all the difference i guess...It was the most painful period ever...sitting in my room and crying out loud is not a nice thing to go through...believe me when i say this....

A couple of books also helped me through this hard time...'Greatness guide' written by Robin Sharma was one of them...This book helped me understand the importance of being passionate about what you do, and how much difference that makes to the result you are trying to achieve.

Another book that helped me through all of this was a book written by Arindam Choudary- Discover the Real Diamond in you. Again, this book spoke about the importance of passion and pursuing those goals that you are passionate about. A brilliant book- Must read.

These and many more books that I took up to reading probably helped me understand that one of the reasons why this exam probably didn’t work out for me was cause I lacked the passion to pursue this course. Yes, I must have worked my ass off, but somewhere I realized that I just did this out of compulsion (compelled myself), rather than the willingness to become a CA.

“The more passionate you are…the luckier you get”.....

Hopefully, I'll never forget this for the remaining years of my life......

Mayur Patil

BIG BULLY- SENA

Ok, I am not a Marathi...Ok, I was born and brought up in Bangalore.. Ok, I don't feel patriotic about the Marathi culture....BUT I AM AN INDIAN....and dare stop me from working ( even driving taxis) in Mumbai....

What's happened to us?? Why are we behaving like hooligans... Senseless opportunism is how I would label it. How can we be tolerating all this. Yes, I am proud of the fact that we have a honest and an intelligent Prime Minister, but isn't it a little shocking that he has not made one statement regarding the issue in Mumbai.

I am not bothered about the Tendulkar's or the Khan's or the Ambani's being a target of the Sena's Bullying entourage. They have enough security to protect themselves. What is disturbing is innocent youngsters being targeted while they attempt a Railways exam, or Taxi Drivers being attacked and their cars destroyed, while they can barely afford to lose their daily earnings. All this why?? Because some old fool is dictating terms along with his Son and Nephew.

I have been wanting to tell the entire family this, and I say this with full conviction: IF YOU WANT TO MAKE SOME CHANGES...WIN A FREAKIN ELECTION FOR GOD SAKE. They have been absolute failures for over a decade now, and yet, they believe they are speaking for the Marathi Manooos...haha..even a kid will find them childish...

Let us all Unite....Let us all teach the SENA's a lesson....A lesson that if they don't believe in the Indian Spirit...They are most welcome...TO GET OUT OF INDIA....

I am an INDIAN...No one DARE tell me where to stay, live and toil. NO ONE!!